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Total Recall
By Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sharon Stone, Rachel Ticotin, Ronny Cox, Michael Ironside, Marshall Bell, Mel Johnson Jr., Michael Champion, Roy Brocksmith, Ray Baker, Rosemary Dunsmore, David Knell, Alexia Robinson, Dean Norris, Mark Carlton, Debbie Lee Carrington, Lycia Naff, Robert Costanzo, Michael LaGuardia, Priscilla Allen
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i'm back! i think xanga is gay, but i am incredibly bored and i didn't have anything better to do. i even went to this website and other various cheese websites before coming here. that's how far down xanga was on my list of internet priorities.
i have lately been giving a lot of thought about aliens. i think aliens exist. i don't know if they live in our universe or in another dimension entirely, but i am almost positive they exist.
in other news, there is a waterbug on my wall and he is about to taste death, first hand. i'm gonna serve death to this bastard like sushi to a sumo. prepare to meet your maker and the undertaker, friend of no man. your coffin is ready for its long-dormant walls to be filled with the juices of waterbug guts. waterbugs everywhere will unite and form a waterbug army and attempt to take me down. i dare them. in counterattack i will load myself with two cans of spectracide, some good killing boots and a bow and arrow with bombs on the arrowheads. they will revel in my glory and fear my might. they will be so impressed with my imposing demeanor that they will bow down and worship me and call me their lord. i will have a conflict of interest at this point and will have to decide between having my own army of powerful waterbugs, or killing each and every one of them mercilessly. the waterbugs will beg me to pity them and pardon them and spare them their lives. little do they know that i am not a man of grace or forgiveness. they lurk in my dwelling, and they will pay the ultimate price.
death be to the waterbugs and their beastly offspring.
otherwise known as the SILVERFISH, the waterbug is notorius for invading citizen's living spaces.
at the request of my source, i will not reveal where this description of silverfish is from. the scientists involved in my research feared the waterbugs. i, myself, subsequently fear no bug.
"Silver fish are small, soft insects with out wings, they have a flat body which is covered in overlapping scales. They are about half inch long. Silver fish prefer damp, moderate temperature places such as basements, laundry rooms and under sinks. Silver fish can lay up to 50 eggs at one time, which can hatch between two weeks up to two months after being laid. Silver fish are known for their keen sense of smell. They can smell humans from up to 4 miles away and travel up to 85 MPH. There is no use in running or hiding; they will find you, and they will kill you. Silver fish have the ability to kill an average man in 12 seconds. They understand and speak up to 6 of the world's prominent languages, and blend in with their environment entirely. Walking down the street, one might not notice the Silver fish, but they will notice you."
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it's been two years since i first grazed on the fields in the prideland that is xanga and called it my own.
HAIL XANGA! HAIL XANGA!
herein lies my true heart's bid
the internet shrine was once, and is
eternal life awaits he who knows
the secrets of kings and their devious thrones
HAIL XANGA! HAIL XANGA!
though it widows wives and leaves children no home
the prince of the world is ignored by none
the glory of what once filled our minds
has been taken o'er by ghosts of the internet shrine
HAIL XANGA! HAIL XANGA
heed my advice or continue to bleed
through every orifice until your eyes see
beauty cannot be achieved by mankind
nor can one survive on the internet shrine.
HAIL XANGA! HAIL XANGA!
HIEL ZENGA!
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carly and i picked out our next apartment. it's a two bed, two bath in bellbrook, OH. that's two full baths. oh yeah. that means two showers, baby. and a fireplace. i'm excited.
here is the website: http://oberer.com/residential/goldkey/apartment/2
so i bought ghostbusters and ghostbusters II the other day and watched them back to back. does anyone remember how good these movies are? ghostbusters I and II kick a substantial amount of ass for various reasons:
1. bill murray when he was funny and not all "i'm so sad and old and i really want an oscar" (although "lost in translation" is one of my favorite movies).
2. the song with the "who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!" is most certainly the best and catchiest song in the world.
3. when you watch it, you get this nostalgic feeling like your seven years old and you forget to critique and care and you just have fun. what other movies can you do that with? none. well, maybe the muppet movies.
so go buy or rent ghostbusters, or just turn on TNT or USA or TBS or FOX and it will probably be on. simultaneously.
enjoy yourself.
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well, i finally quit the UPS store. i had been meaning to do it for quite some time, but the past few weeks just drove me to my edge, man. i couldn't take it no mo! i am now working at the Home Depot. laugh all you want, the benefits are face-meltingly good. i will be working in the garden area, which should prove to be awesome. if you're looking for work, i definitely left the UPS store in a bind, and they'll probably hire you on the spot.
in more important news, i have re-entered the dayton music scene, such as it is, and will be making a few appearances at boston stoker in centerville. the next "show," if you will, is on march 17th (saint patty's day!) at around 7pmish. so bring your green beer, your honeykins and get a free cd, of me, playing music. that's right, free. not even a tip jar or nothin.
the Oscars were last night, and if you're like me, you probably spent the entire night glued to the television, score card in hand, kookabura wings in mouth. if you're not like me, you probably wouldn't care about the fact that Hustle and Flow's "It's Hard Out There for a Pimp" won best song, and Crash, my personal favorite movie of the year, won best picture. if you have not yet seen Hustle and Flow or Crash, kill yourself, then come back to life and view these films.
not much else to report, i'm afraid. oh yes there is: i love david bise. ok, that's all.
a fond farewell to you, my friends.
wait....kitten.
good bye.
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at work, as usual. i don't really get online much at home except to do school so the only times i check this thing is when i'm at work and we're slow. which is often. i think we've made about 39 dollars today so far.
for those of you who think to yourselves, "hmm, i could sure use me some tasty Indian food right about now" i will suggest to you a more sedated alternative: go run off a high bridge and bellysmack the water. it's much less painless.
here is a picture of what brought the death of my bowels:
so my cat is in heat right now. it's pretty gross. she is constantly meowing and sticking her catbutt up in the air. we're taking her to the vet tuesday but i don't know if i can wait that long. i have to walk around with a squirtgun and shoot her if she gets too gross or annoying.
here is a picture of my little kitten toefag:
in other news, i'm considering buying an x-box (not the new one though cause i'm poor) and updating my video game knowledge from sega genesis (which i still love and play all the time) to the ever-popular x-box. i'm basically buying it for the sole purpose of playing grand theft auto, which is probably a waste of money.
thoughts on this? please respond.
here is a picture of a little bunny rabbit:
his little feet are dirty!
till next time, darlings...
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